Behind My Rubber Dam

I went to see the dentist
'cuz my teeth were breakin' down
I'm not exactly royalty
but he said I need a crown

I was apprehensive
but I thought I'd wait and see
if any man could practice
truly pain-less dentistry

I knew my teeth weren't perfect
so I had it all to gain
as I settled down into the chair
for a shot of novacaine

Hey - I could hardly feel that!
I thought shots were s'pose to hurt
normally the needle
puts me on red alert

As everything went smoothly
behind my rubber dam
I started thinking just how
very fortunate I am

Could this really happen?
could I never feel a thing?
Who is this tooth magician
who crowns me like a king?

As I sat and waited
for the pain to take control
he announced that it was over
& had me rinse out in the bowl

I mumbled thanks & meant it
though I felt a little dumb
my words were all a mishmash
my mouth was so darn numb

And as I left his office
though I wasn't full of joy
I gave myself some credit
for calling Dr. Doi

he cares about his patients
no mouth's too big a test
bridges or composites
halitosis and the rest

His staff is always cheerful
his equipment"s up to snuff
it seems all the latest gadgets
are never quite enough
Now when my teeth are calling
and I'm driven to distraction
I'm gonna visit Dr. Doi
about my next extraction.

And finally I'd like to add
that it's nice to see a man
who cares enough to stay informed
and do the best he can.

HAVENS - '99